Meeting the Power Rangers

Today was going into NYC to attend a free seminar hosted by a longtime dating and life coach of mine, Tyler. With him were also coaches Madison, Luke, and Maze. Let’s get started.

I get off the train and feel I don’t want to waste my time on this earth feeling stifled and socially constrained. I approach a Russian chick walking, we make fun banter and she hooks hard and invests, but she has a boyfriend. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t, but it didn’t seem like token resistance. Open a French looking chick walking in the opposite direction of me and she responds quietly but she wants nothing to do with me and asks me to leave her alone. It seems authentic as shit and I excuse myself. I open a tall model-looking blonde outside of a hotel telling her she has great fucking style. She hooks immediately, I throw statements of empathy, and we get into a fucking wonderful conversation about what she’s up to and how bougie the hotel looks. She tells me she’s waiting for her boyfriend Tim. I tell her I hope she has a fruitful marriage in the Upper East Side with this Tim, she laughs, and I tell her to have a good night. I open a girl crossing the street with me asking if she’s a yoga instructor but she seems significantly older than me and barely hooks. It was hilarious nonetheless.

I enter the seminar venue and immediately start talking to other students attending the session. I get stoked seeing all the guys there because they want to take control of their fucking lives. I meet some cool potential wings Jeff and Amir and a bunch more. We eventually get into the main room and are waiting for our cult leaders to step on the stage. Maze opens and is then joined by the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers of Madison, Tyler, and Luke in that order. My main takeaways from the seminar were:

  1. In order to find that perfect balance of pushing yourself to be better while not being too hard on yourself when you don’t get the results you desire: possess that meta-awareness. To put it simply, when you realize you’re going to die in ~80 years from cancer, heart disease, or some shit like that, you transition into flow state and don’t self-sabotage. If you’re slacking off, you realize you’re time on this planet is limited and you better started hustling. If you’re beating yourself up, you realize that approach is unhealthy and you need to treat yourself like your best friend. Meta-awareness.
  2. Having perceived advantages is a fundamental disadvantage: you have no evolutionary pressure to better yourself since you’re handed everything from the get-go. You plateau at mediocrity rather than fucking killing it in life.
  3. There are guys who are too socially aware and guys who aren’t socially aware at all. There are guys who give too much and guys who take too much. You know where on these two spectrums you stand. Find the fucking middle point that works and helps you grow.
  4. Game gives you what you need when you need it, not what you want. Positive experiences make you grateful for how far you’ve come and negative experiences teach you valuable lessons positive experiences can’t.

Watching instructional videos on YouTube can only go so far. I was starstruck when my mentors appeared before me and left such a deep impact on my persona. Some people have an energy that words could not even do the slightest justice in describing. Coming out of the seminar, I felt self-reliant and ready to start my NYC adventures.

Optimizing Vs. Dropping

Today was a mall set where I uncovered being more unapologetic and reflecting on optimizing my game versus dropping my attachment to the outcome in game on this journey. Let’s start with the former.

I see blonde girl in pink polo shirt. I approach blonde girl in pink polo shirt. I open by walking ahead of her then turning around and coming from a place of non-neediness right off the bat. “I love your style. Holy shit. What are you up to.” Her name’s Angel, and I hit her in the face with my metaphorical dick of shamelessness. I vibe while gathering logistics and we number exchange. Phone debriefing with J2 helped me realize that this air of being brutally honest yet playful with a girl is fucking gold. While I won’t go around memorizing Julien lines to role-play being a fuckboy, channeling my inner shamelessness felt fucking good. I follow-up texted Angel but didn’t even care about where it went. I felt empowered by my vibe in that set.

While going through Transformation Mastery, I’ve fully come to terms with self-acceptance. It crucially brings up the two steps of consciousness: optimize and drop. When you optimize, you’re trying to perfect your opener, the high-value stories you’ve got prepared in the back of your mind, your spin-handshake, etc. You’re focusing on the doing. When you drop, you realize all that is great but won’t make you fundamentally happier. You’re focusing on the being. Sure you might cream pie some jaw-dropping bombshell in a club bathroom who moans for your amazing love-making ways, but is that a sustainable source of fulfillment? If she stops giving you that validation, will you still feel 10 out of 10? Dropping is realizing that being happy comes before everything because it can’t depend on anything. You’re the player and not the video game character of this game we call life. As I’m watching Julien’s borderline illegal escalation, Max’s hilarious self-amusement, and Todd’s analytical breakdowns, they bring me farther in my dating life, but I can’t forget that I’m already enough and complete without these things. If I drop my attachment to the outcome beforehand, my optimization would be so much more fucking effective, arguably. Some days, I’m optimizing more and others I’m dropping more. This is a lifelong process where I’ll reach a happier medium with time.

Balancing Audaciousness and Self-Consciousness

Today was hitting up my local mall and, with that, daygame.

The first set is a blonde chick I catch out of the corner of my eye. I open direct, and she seems noticeably uncomfortable. I throw statements of empathy but to no avail. She looked 30. Nice and ripe, but no hook. Next.

In PacSun, I see a tan-looking state school girl but don’t open because I have this internal voice telling me I’d disturb the environment of the store. I felt like I would have gotten kicked out of the store if I opened. Call it an excuse, but I feel opening a girl in a busy store or a girl working is just too uncalibrated. Similar to doing it on campus or in a gym, “don’t shit where you eat” kept echoing in my head. Perhaps I feel this way because the mall is too close to home. Who knows. This is a taste that comes with time with how far I want to go with directness.

Next, in Vans, I indirect open a cute redhead cashier girl. “Excuse me, didn’t you go to my middle school?” “No, why?” “Because you look really familiar. Must be a different redhead”. I then ask where she goes to school and what she studies. She just graduated and is about to go to grad school. I definitely would have kept plowing if it were a loud bar or club, but I felt out of place doing it in a peaceful shoe store. Am I being paranoid or sound in my argument? There’s a time and place to approach anything and everything balls to the wall with full force, but I feel I’ve already done that. Again, this taste comes with time.

I walk past a surfer looking store on the way out and notice a cute brunette from her back. I go into the store, pretend to look at something, and then open direct. She’s flattered but just not quite as attractive up close. I give her an honest compliment and excuse myself, and feel a gust of state after opening her. Why did I open this girl? She was in a store too, you may bring up. Well, no one was watching and she was by herself. It all comes down to my audaciousness balanced by self-consciousness at the end of the day.

I’m about to leave the mall and witness a blonde bombshell walk past about 15 feet to my left. She’s dressed typically LA and looks like came directly out of an Instagram shoot for Urban Outfitters. She glances my way and keeps walking. My gut feeling was fucking open. I don’t. Why? Because I felt in the moment it would have been “uncalibrated and chodey” . This is where I knew I shot myself in the foot. Sure, taking right action is ideal. Taking wrong action comes second. But taking no action is unacceptable. Taking no action was when my romantic life consisted of candlelit dinners with Pornhub. Do I want that back? Fuck. No. I’m a few steps from the mall exit, and think to myself, “Fuck it.” I go back and want to open at least one more set. Otherwise, I won’t be able to look myself in the mirror.

I spot a 2-set from behind. I walk past, pretend to look in the Apple Store, then walk back. I open direct. She seems confused. That’s something else I noticed with my opens today. All of the girls seemed genuinely confused the first couple of seconds why I was striking conversation with them, as if I wasn’t hitting on them. Maybe I should change “I was walking past, and you caught my attention, who are you” back to “I was walking past, and noticed you were fairly attractive and like the style”. I need to put my dick into the conversation. I cold-read her and her friend as elementary school best friends. They say they are. When I tell her I like her style as a follow-up, she tells me she’s 17. I laugh and tell her that’s valuable information and leave.

On the way to the car, I walk past a meh-looking blonde by herself. I open because it’s an easy set. I know deep-down that if she was with a friend/on the phone/some other bullshit, I would not have done it so instantly. I need to work on this self-consciousness bullshit. She’s not too attractive close-up but I do it for reference. I cold-read her age/job and it turns out she’s working in 25. She says she has to go. I set her loose.

Later at the gym, I’m focused on my workout but notice a crossfit-looking blondie on the treadmill. Later she’s stretching near me. I open telling her she reminds me of a friend who does crossfit. She hooks and we vibe a bit about the gym environment and where she goes to school. She doesn’t seem invested because she doesn’t ask back about me, but that’s no excuse. I don’t push too hard because the “don’t shit where you eat” voice is ringing in my head. I suggest we Facebook exchange and it turns out we have 200+ mutual friends. Smart move not going full Julien on this girl. I send her a request and bid farewell. Later she accepts and I message her telling her to take some protein. Gym sets are still an elusive game of calibration. I’m still unsure about how direct to go. Directness helps because it saves me time, but could also show the girl I have no sense of social intelligence. Indirectness helps because it doesn’t make the girl perceive me as a threat, but I could end up never seeing her again because of conflicting schedules or end up in that friend-zone bullshit. My gut-feeling with this set was to be a little more man-to-woman.

Perhaps that is the essence and spirit of game. Sure, you can make generalizations for situations that more-or-less will fit a certain routine or opener to go by, but it all comes down to gauging the circumstances presented and how crazy you’re feeling in that moment. 

So It Begins

As school was wrapping up and kids went into Kurt-Cobain-level depression over finals, J2 told me that we should start a blog.

It’d “make sure we stick to our goals bc now they are publicly known”, he texted. What a brilliant fucking idea.

I’d been reading Out in Black for a while now and found Leon’s work there inspirational. It’s one thing to watch Julien’s videos on the best opener to use or how to have a threesome, but it’s another to read about someone else who’s also learning.

As J2 and I post our thoughts or field reports, we hope you learn from our mistakes, laugh at our shenanigans, and celebrate our successes. More importantly, we hope to be more committed to doing what it takes to get there by creating this site: to setting ourselves up for an upward spiraling path of growth and going through the biggest fucking expansion phase the world has ever seen since that one guy landed on the moon or when whey protein was formulated.

As I’m sitting here in my living room, sweaty from a great chest and triceps workout, I’m fucking stoked for all of the inconceivable adventures that will be lived out and documented here.