Meeting the Power Rangers

Today was going into NYC to attend a free seminar hosted by a longtime dating and life coach of mine, Tyler. With him were also coaches Madison, Luke, and Maze. Let’s get started.

I get off the train and feel I don’t want to waste my time on this earth feeling stifled and socially constrained. I approach a Russian chick walking, we make fun banter and she hooks hard and invests, but she has a boyfriend. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t, but it didn’t seem like token resistance. Open a French looking chick walking in the opposite direction of me and she responds quietly but she wants nothing to do with me and asks me to leave her alone. It seems authentic as shit and I excuse myself. I open a tall model-looking blonde outside of a hotel telling her she has great fucking style. She hooks immediately, I throw statements of empathy, and we get into a fucking wonderful conversation about what she’s up to and how bougie the hotel looks. She tells me she’s waiting for her boyfriend Tim. I tell her I hope she has a fruitful marriage in the Upper East Side with this Tim, she laughs, and I tell her to have a good night. I open a girl crossing the street with me asking if she’s a yoga instructor but she seems significantly older than me and barely hooks. It was hilarious nonetheless.

I enter the seminar venue and immediately start talking to other students attending the session. I get stoked seeing all the guys there because they want to take control of their fucking lives. I meet some cool potential wings Jeff and Amir and a bunch more. We eventually get into the main room and are waiting for our cult leaders to step on the stage. Maze opens and is then joined by the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers of Madison, Tyler, and Luke in that order. My main takeaways from the seminar were:

  1. In order to find that perfect balance of pushing yourself to be better while not being too hard on yourself when you don’t get the results you desire: possess that meta-awareness. To put it simply, when you realize you’re going to die in ~80 years from cancer, heart disease, or some shit like that, you transition into flow state and don’t self-sabotage. If you’re slacking off, you realize you’re time on this planet is limited and you better started hustling. If you’re beating yourself up, you realize that approach is unhealthy and you need to treat yourself like your best friend. Meta-awareness.
  2. Having perceived advantages is a fundamental disadvantage: you have no evolutionary pressure to better yourself since you’re handed everything from the get-go. You plateau at mediocrity rather than fucking killing it in life.
  3. There are guys who are too socially aware and guys who aren’t socially aware at all. There are guys who give too much and guys who take too much. You know where on these two spectrums you stand. Find the fucking middle point that works and helps you grow.
  4. Game gives you what you need when you need it, not what you want. Positive experiences make you grateful for how far you’ve come and negative experiences teach you valuable lessons positive experiences can’t.

Watching instructional videos on YouTube can only go so far. I was starstruck when my mentors appeared before me and left such a deep impact on my persona. Some people have an energy that words could not even do the slightest justice in describing. Coming out of the seminar, I felt self-reliant and ready to start my NYC adventures.

Malls as the Suburban Outlets of Game

As a suburban kid, I really don’t get exposure to the high density of people as I would in a city. The gym and mall really are the two places I can boil down to that offer the bare minimum of that density. Today was 3 malls and, with that, 3 sets.

At Short Hills Mall, I open a preppy looking brunette coming out of Express. I was even amazed at myself afterwards by the quick and second-nature reaction time I had to opening. I saw her, my brain processed the image as something I would like to engage in coitus with, and I approached. I open telling her “I like your style, holy shit” and then asking what she was up to. She was on a lunch break and seemed to be in a rush. When asking where she went to school and cold-reading her, she looked down at her phone and started to lose interest. She then walked away abruptly. I yelled, “Do you text” and she laughed and continued walking. Next time, a simple “Ey, two seconds. I want to see if you’re as cool as I think you are” would do the trick. If she’s in a rush, vibing less and cutting straight to the logistics and setting up the date would be smarter as well.

At Menlo Park Mall, I pass mixed and group sets but don’t open because I’m pressed on time. I blame my perfectionistic personality. If I’m pressed for time, a direct compliment, asking for logistics, and setting up the date can’t hurt. When there’s less time, minimize vibing and cut straight to logistics. On my way out, a fitness blonde chick walks into the mall. Fuck. I follow her back in, trail her for a few minutes, then opened from her side. She seemed flattered by my compliment but had no interest staying. I would have plowed but her face was eh. Next time, I should avoid opening from 90 degrees at all costs and open from behind at arms length or from the front. Starting conversation from the side scares the shit out of people.

At Bridgewater Mall, I’m on my way out and see a 2 set to my right. I walk past them and then turn around to direct open the blonde. Her name is Cat, is a dolphin trainer, and is 28. I address the friend, find out that they’re getting sushi, and start a really fun natural banter with Cat. I even help her with her order and tease her to get edamame and cucumber because it’s good for preventing heart disease. I’m happy with my shameless vibe and willingness to walk away but wished I had solidified a date before leaving. She refused to give me her number and instead took mine. I’ll most likely never hear from her again. Solidify a date time and location before leaving the set.

tl;dr:

  • +
    • Opening in different environments
  • ->
    • Play to win, motherfucker

Optimizing Vs. Dropping

Today was a mall set where I uncovered being more unapologetic and reflecting on optimizing my game versus dropping my attachment to the outcome in game on this journey. Let’s start with the former.

I see blonde girl in pink polo shirt. I approach blonde girl in pink polo shirt. I open by walking ahead of her then turning around and coming from a place of non-neediness right off the bat. “I love your style. Holy shit. What are you up to.” Her name’s Angel, and I hit her in the face with my metaphorical dick of shamelessness. I vibe while gathering logistics and we number exchange. Phone debriefing with J2 helped me realize that this air of being brutally honest yet playful with a girl is fucking gold. While I won’t go around memorizing Julien lines to role-play being a fuckboy, channeling my inner shamelessness felt fucking good. I follow-up texted Angel but didn’t even care about where it went. I felt empowered by my vibe in that set.

While going through Transformation Mastery, I’ve fully come to terms with self-acceptance. It crucially brings up the two steps of consciousness: optimize and drop. When you optimize, you’re trying to perfect your opener, the high-value stories you’ve got prepared in the back of your mind, your spin-handshake, etc. You’re focusing on the doing. When you drop, you realize all that is great but won’t make you fundamentally happier. You’re focusing on the being. Sure you might cream pie some jaw-dropping bombshell in a club bathroom who moans for your amazing love-making ways, but is that a sustainable source of fulfillment? If she stops giving you that validation, will you still feel 10 out of 10? Dropping is realizing that being happy comes before everything because it can’t depend on anything. You’re the player and not the video game character of this game we call life. As I’m watching Julien’s borderline illegal escalation, Max’s hilarious self-amusement, and Todd’s analytical breakdowns, they bring me farther in my dating life, but I can’t forget that I’m already enough and complete without these things. If I drop my attachment to the outcome beforehand, my optimization would be so much more fucking effective, arguably. Some days, I’m optimizing more and others I’m dropping more. This is a lifelong process where I’ll reach a happier medium with time.

Virginia Beach Day 3: Solo

Tonight was the third and last night out in Virginia Beach. None of the other guys wanted to go out and so I finally had the pleasure of going out alone. I felt initial resistance but then detached myself from my thoughts and emotions. I immediately thought back to when I went out alone over winter break in Meatpacking District and how it was not nearly as bad as how I imagined. Tonight would be round two.

At 11:30 after dinner, I start the night at a local bar that J told me about called Side Street Cantina. I walk in and feel significantly younger than the average crowd there. I open group and single sets left and right but nothing hooks. Ah how refreshing: the arrogance of high-end Manhattan clubs found in a low-end dive bar. I open a Russian-looking blonde chick Rebecca who hooks and gets me a glass of water but leaves when I make the conversation man-to-woman. I open a two-set sitting down and they hook. They become my “home base” for this bar are are very friendly. I walk from the bar to the dance floor and back opening all options but they result in disgusted looks or short answers followed by ignoring me or leaving. I feel a state crash but then detach myself from my thoughts and emotions once again. I’ve opened everything and decide to switch venues.

At 12:15, I walk downtown more to a more familiar spot: LunaSea. I get there and I feel the night might pick up in momentum, but then I see 4 cops standing next to the bouncer. Nope. I make my way to Peabody’s and ask strangers for directions along the way to stay in state. I learn it’s 18+ from asking strangers and go in. Then I find out it’s a $20 cover charge and go out. I walk past a popular street filled with loud clubs that are empty and not conducive to talking. I’m back to square one. I figure Calypso’s is my best bet and make my way there.

At 1:00, I enter Calypso’s and feel much more in state all of a sudden. I small talk with a chill guy who works there, self-amuse with a 2-set asking if they’re Scottish, chat with 2 grandmas about wishing my grandparents were as cool as they were, and getting called a jerk for calling a blonde chick a third wheel. It’s a dead-end venue with very old people in it or groups. I open everything telling people I’m a visitor and looking for good bars and venues. Two group sets hook but logistics aren’t ideal as they’re both leaving. Sure, I could go with, but it just feels so damn uncalibrated.

At 1:30, I go back to Side Street and open the leftovers. Nothing hooks. At 2:00, the bar closes and the third part of the night begins. I open girls and groups waiting for Ubers and make decent banter with a birthday group and a Yeezy collector. I decide to call it a night and walk back.

I pass a pizza shop and go in. The cashier is decently attractive. I ask her if they have wings and hear an Eastern European accent. I ask if she’s Russian and it turns out she’s Polish and from Warsaw. She asks why I thought she was Russian and seems hooked. I make small-talk and classically premature ejectulate because I didn’t want to disturb her working. In reality, the store was closing in 1 minute and she seemed interested. “I actually like your style. What part of Virginia Beach do you live in” would have done the trick. Then I would have walked with, built rapport, and tried to find an excuse to go to her place. But I didn’t do it because I wasn’t playing to win. I left the set early because she wasn’t begging for my dick. That’s ridiculous and unrealistic. Next time, I stay in set until I reach an explicit dead-end.

Overall, tonight showed that going out alone forces growth. I couldn’t turn to my wing for advice or to kill time. I was left with only me, myself, and I. I was my own instructor. Now, having a solid wing is ideal, but going out alone should never be ruled out. Gaming solo in MPD and tonight proved that.

tl;dr:

  • +
    • Went out solo despite preconceived notion of it being “weird”
    • Opened everything
  • –>
    • Play to win accordingly in all parts of the night
    • Don’t leave the set until you reach an explicit dead-end

Virginia Beach Day 2: Uncovering Sticking Points

Today was feeling confident and empowered daygaming on the beach and significantly less so nightgaming at the bars. Let’s begin.

After finding safe haven in the bathroom for morning meditation and frame reading, I hit the beach to join the boys who are eating at Mahi Mah’s. We wrap up and walk to the sand. I notice a blonde chick sitting on a chair next to a friend in the distance. I go over, open direct, find out their logistics, try to set up a tea date tomorrow, and exchange numbers. My friends observe from a distance and ask me about my success rate and how I do it. It’s hard to believe how much I’ve grown in the past year. We chill a bit, and then I notice two chicks lying down to my right in the distance. Same routine. Direct open, statement of empathy, befriend the friend, and find out logistics. My girl, we’ll call her tattoo girl, tells me her and her friend are leaving tomorrow but want to know what places are good tonight. We exchange numbers and plan to meet. The first blonde chick ignores my text but tattoo girl tells me her and her friend want to go out with us tonight. I sense I can pull her easily later that night. Later, I open a girl whose boyfriend later joins us after coming out of a bathroom stall, a girl who’s working at an amusement park and turns out to be 16, and a girl whose with her dog and whose boyfriend later joins us. If I had known the circumstances before opening, I would not have, but I’m glad I did not. These sets proved nothing bad happened despite intimidating/unideal circumstances.

After getting back to the house, chilling, and then eating dinner, we start the night. Tattoo girl wants to know where we’re going and I start feeling entitled to pulling her.

At 10:30, we walk by The Shack which we had checked out earlier that day. Security is tight and there are cops near the entrance. That’s a no-go with my shitty fake. We find some Ohio girls along the way and chat them up. They’re not hooked enough and are on their way back to their hotel so we bid farewell.

At 11:00, BK, J, and I try Calypso and it’s decent but everyone is there together. I chat up a Russian-looking chick who introduces me and BK to her boyfriend and other friends. We chat for a bit so I can get into a social mood but I still feel in my head. I get a text from tattoo girl and they’re here. BK and I go over to meet them. I commit instinctively this early on in the night because I sense she’s hooked and wants to fuck me already. As a direct result, my vibing with her at Calypso’s and later at LunaSea is not man-to-woman whatsoever. We later move to LunaSea and it’s fucking packed. In hindsight, even though LunaSea is a nice bar, we should have gone to a venue closer to the AirBnB. Logistics trump everything. We start at the outdoor bar and move around and continue our boring redundant banter. I make no attempts to isolate my girl and do not escalate at all. In fact, I went backwards from when I first opened her during the day. During the day, my direct approach sexualized the conversation and moved it forward at lightning speed. At night, the progress I made during the day began to recede because I wasn’t as sexual and assumed she would just go home with me because of my daytime approach. I played to win by moving her and her friend around a lot and committing to her, but I was not sexual enough and did not even attempt to isolate her from her friend. Now, I understand that when its a 2-set, it’s tough to isolate the girl from her friend, but BK could have easily distracted the friend or I could have found some guy to throw onto the friend. If she didn’t want to leave her friend, I should have committed to a new girl right away in the packed venue because that set would have been a dead-end. I’ll never know though because I didn’t even try to isolate her. We eventually Uber back to our AirBnB because of an “afterparty” there, and the girls don’t seem excited at all but go with us nonetheless. Upon arriving, S entertains them and essentially becomes the center of their attention. He tries to pull tattoo girl at one point. I was pissed off in the moment because he didn’t understand basic winging etiquette, but I deserved it. Tattoo girl not investing in me was a direct result of my lack of sexualization. I direct them out of the AirBnB to a pizza joint and walk with them for a little to leave them on a good note. We hug goodbye, and I reflect on everything that happened in that long-ass set. Although the set lasted 3 fucking hours, my inability to move the interaction forward was my ultimate downfall tonight. I just assumed tattoo girl would go home with me without following basic principles. I got arrogant and presumptuous. Hooking is fairly second nature to me now, but vibing and closing are my motherfucking sticking points. I’m weak in closing especially just because I don’t do it often enough.

I’m fucking starving for more reference experiences.

tl;dr:

  • +
    • Strong daygame opening
    • Strong verbal game
    • Hooking more
  • ->
    • Sexualize that shit
    • Isolate your girl
    • Commit to a new girl if current girl not going to work out

Virginia Beach: Miami Beach’s Autistic Cousin

Some high school friends and I planned a trip to Virginia Beach and are AirBnBing until Sunday. The 6-hour car ride down here was abysmal, but we made it. I hadn’t meditated or read my frames at all since waking up at 7 am and could feel the low-vibration energy building inside me. I felt as irritable as Trump whenever he’s blue-balled by Melania. We finally get back from dinner, and I had my peaceful 20 minute meditation with frame reading afterwards. Liberation. Then the night started.

Earlier in the day, I bantered with a waitress and a customer at a diner we pulled over at and collected a few venue names. Later we ate dinner at a seafood joint and got a few more places under our belt from the waiter. We got back, relaxed, and started the night super fucking late at around midnight because my friends wanted to finish several games of beer pong. Fuck going out, am I right? Getting shitfaced to the point of Alzheimer’s and making loud noises obscenely is the shit! Who needs approaching women? That’s for losers! Life is about constant assertion of my masculinity and concealing of my insecurities! All joking aside, we finally start a little before 12.

At 12, we get downtown. S and J disappear off to an adjacent street of clubs while V, K, and I find parking. We need coins to pay the meter so I enter Doc Taylor’s to get change. On the way, I spot a decently attractive blondie with an Indiana Jones-looking hat on in her car. My first car open ensues. “Excuse me, I have to go grab drinks with friends but noticed you’re decently attractive. Who are you.” She laughs. I statement of empathy, she hooks, and we vibe. We exchange names and I start setting up a date for tomorrow or Saturday night since she gets off work late. I learn a bit more about her, qualify her, and exchange numbers to seal the deal. Although she’s ever so slightly under my threshold for attractive, she had a very down-to-earth personality. If I’m horny enough the coming days, I’ll hit her up. I felt like that set was instructor-level because she hooked so easily and I did not find her particularly attractive. Now the challenge is to treat all sets like this one.

At 12:15, we check out the first venue of the night, Doc Taylor’s. Its decent but dying down. I open a 2-set inside with, “Are you guys from Virginia Beach. We’re passing through and are trying to immerse ourselves as much as possible”. One girl hooks while the other is occupied, we vibe about the town and what she does, and SC exchange. V, J, and S immediately ask me what I said to her after I leave set. I can see the curiosity in their eyes. It amuses me. The bar starts closing so we leave.

At 12:45, we check out another bar down the block, LunaSea. The layout of the venue was fucking genius: chatting bar on the first floor inside, club on the second floor inside, and a two-tiered bar behind out back surrounding a sand lot with corn hole and live music. I vibe with a bachelorette party group upon entering, a mixed set of 2 guys 1 girl a few steps away, and walk around. Upon seeing the outdoor area, I truly felt like the game was meant to be called, “the game”. People were sprawled out everywhere waiting for me to chat them up, and I felt at the cause of the night, not the effect. Through studying theory and garnering reference experiences, I felt motherfucker empowered walking through this venue knowing what the fuck to do. There are not many sets, so I open older groups to keep in grounded state flow. While walking back, I notice a mixed set: 3 chicks and 1 dude seated at the outdoor bar. I ask for the drink menu from the bartender then ask the mixed set what’s good here, lead into asking them where they’re from, and exchange names. I befriend the guy and learn they’re from DC. Then, one of the chicks stares me dead in the eye, I stare back, and she puts her arm around me. Hooking without doing any work? I’m not complaining. We isolate a few steps away from the rest of her group, I lock in, vibe/coldread with her, and start screening for logistics. Then I realize this chick is drugged out of her mind on some concoction of chemicals and is LSE as shit. When asking who she’s here with or where she’s staying, she slurs her speech and clings on to me over and over. She then drags us back to her group, and I bid farewell.

At 1:15 while leaving LunaSea, we run into a mixed set of 2 girls and 2 guys. I ask them whether they’re from Virginia Beach: the dudes are but the chicks have a European accent. I’m in for a treat. Turns out they’re Siberian. I confidently utter “hello”, “dog”, and “penis” to them in Russian (my roommate taught me well). They hook immediately and ask where I’m from. We vibe about our backgrounds, where they work, and plans for the night. One of the girls seems to be dating one of the dudes, but the slimmer model-looking one is squared up to me. They’re working at the local Wendy’s. I IG exchange both of them and WhatsApp exchange my girl. Later I IG DM her telling her I’m anticipating her chicken nuggets. Cool girl and the last thing I would have expected in Virginia fucking Beach.

For the next 30 minutes, K is piss drunk out of his mind and also coked out of his mind apparently. He’s chatting up every single moving organism on the streets. It’s hilarious but ends up being a huge unnecessary time sink. If K doesn’t fix this substance abuse problem, I’ll have to stop going out with him.

At 1:45, we roll up to the outside of Peabody’s, the town’s biggest club. It’s starting to close though so we chat up the people leaving. Everyone’s very warm and opens easily. When you tell people you’re a visitor and are trying to make friends, shit hooks most of the time left and right. There are no sets left and so we make our way back to the car and call it a night.

Back at the AirBnB, S starts shit-testing me and it’s adorable. When I take my shirt off and check out my physique, he says he’s bigger than me and tells me I need to workout more. If S is bigger than me, then Julien is a virgin. He asks me what my goals are with bodybuilding, and I unleash a passionate speech about it transforming my life and how it’s not for the weak-disciplined. He backs down and I start ignoring him. Why did S start this out of the blue? I suspect it may be because he saw me being socially free out in the bars and a drastically different person from high school. 711 can’t be good with girls! He needs to be the fat chode who I pick on for self-validation! I fully resonated and felt what Max has been putting forward all these years: when people see you advancing in life, they hate you at first but eventually shift to admiration when you express good intentions. More importantly, the law of averages never echoed louder in my head: I am the average of the 5 fucking people I hang out with the most. In that moment with S, the low-vibration energy returned, and I wasn’t even aware of it until well after while showering. Now, being a friend Nazi and having ridiculous standards of who I want to be around doesn’t get me anywhere, but if someone or thing is stunting my personal growth, I need to cut that shit out. Hiroshima that shit out of my paradigm. You can probably just tell from this paragraph the negative energy this situation brought out in me. Nevertheless, it was a good frame test, and I grew from it.

Another thing: while out tonight, I dressed more urban and streetwear than I normally do and felt so much more congruent. No more were the bright pastel colors of people-pleasing preppiness. I internally recognized a large portion of my wardrobe last year and the years before were to conform to and seek approval from preconceived notions of upper class. I wasn’t being myself and certainly wasn’t being honest.

Tomorrow will be sleeping in, exploring the actual beach of Virginia Beach, and going out for our second night out.

Gym Sets

After sets of leg curls, deadlifts, and leg extension, I take on another kind of set. I’m walking to the leg press machine and catch a blondie in my peripheral. I turn and we make eye contact.

“Do you powerlift”

“What?”

“Do you powerlift, because you’re dressed like one”

“Oh, no I don’t haha”

We vibe a bit about her split, where she works, and her big ass jug of water. Although she’s not investing, I sense she’s somewhat hooked and try to set up a date.

“I have to get back to leg day, but you seem decently fitness-y. Let’s grab tea next week”

“Oh that won’t work”

“Do you Snap then”

“No”

At this point, my gut feeling was that she was shit-testing me, but I didn’t want to plow so hard because it’s at the gym I frequent every day.

“Have a good workout”, and I leave.

As I mentioned before, the degree of directness and plowing in socially conscious places (school and the gym mainly) are still an acquired taste I’m working on. I’m happy I got over my ridiculous fear of looking like “that pickup guy” in my gym and approached. Next time, I want to qualify her more and come from the buyer frame. Overall, decent set.