Optimizing Vs. Dropping

Today was a mall set where I uncovered being more unapologetic and reflecting on optimizing my game versus dropping my attachment to the outcome in game on this journey. Let’s start with the former.

I see blonde girl in pink polo shirt. I approach blonde girl in pink polo shirt. I open by walking ahead of her then turning around and coming from a place of non-neediness right off the bat. “I love your style. Holy shit. What are you up to.” Her name’s Angel, and I hit her in the face with my metaphorical dick of shamelessness. I vibe while gathering logistics and we number exchange. Phone debriefing with J2 helped me realize that this air of being brutally honest yet playful with a girl is fucking gold. While I won’t go around memorizing Julien lines to role-play being a fuckboy, channeling my inner shamelessness felt fucking good. I follow-up texted Angel but didn’t even care about where it went. I felt empowered by my vibe in that set.

While going through Transformation Mastery, I’ve fully come to terms with self-acceptance. It crucially brings up the two steps of consciousness: optimize and drop. When you optimize, you’re trying to perfect your opener, the high-value stories you’ve got prepared in the back of your mind, your spin-handshake, etc. You’re focusing on the doing. When you drop, you realize all that is great but won’t make you fundamentally happier. You’re focusing on the being. Sure you might cream pie some jaw-dropping bombshell in a club bathroom who moans for your amazing love-making ways, but is that a sustainable source of fulfillment? If she stops giving you that validation, will you still feel 10 out of 10? Dropping is realizing that being happy comes before everything because it can’t depend on anything. You’re the player and not the video game character of this game we call life. As I’m watching Julien’s borderline illegal escalation, Max’s hilarious self-amusement, and Todd’s analytical breakdowns, they bring me farther in my dating life, but I can’t forget that I’m already enough and complete without these things. If I drop my attachment to the outcome beforehand, my optimization would be so much more fucking effective, arguably. Some days, I’m optimizing more and others I’m dropping more. This is a lifelong process where I’ll reach a happier medium with time.

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