So today I hang out with two different girls: one a friend, one a day 2. Let’s start with the friend.
One of the large things that I am still learning to deal with with female friends is being real without coming off as flirty. I want to have fun and do all these things, but I also value the friendship (for many reasons – wing women are great is one of those) and so I don’t want to come on too strong like I would if I were being 100% real. This sort of leads to a bit of frustration inside me – I want to be fun, loving, and everything, but I am too scared of coming on flirtatiously. Then on the other hand that leaves to talk about more serious boring stuff with them and I am afraid I’m coming off too boring. One solution I have had recently is to act gayer when I make more “value”-giving comments. Like, I will throw I may do a small neg but I’ll phrase it “bitch.. hold on a second…” to make it sound less like I’m hitting on her and more like I’m her gay best friend. Anyways, I’m still learning how to manage female friendships because they can be highly valueable.
So on to the fuck-up. It did not start off as a fuck-up. In fact, it started off as a major W. So I was waiting to hang out with a friend last night and they are running 10-15 minutes late. So I see this cute girl walking towards me. We make eye contact. I don’t open. She walks by. I run up to her and open her. We vibe for a good amount of time, talk about seeing each other tonight for drinks, and then exchange contact information. So, we set up the date. We plan to meet at 10 pm today where we met (a crowded place in the middle of town). So I get to my bus stop early.. but the bus was not there. In fact, it did not come at all. So I end up getting a cab, but I still get there late – at 10:08 to be exact. I walk around the area twice and do not see her. So I go to find internet. I only find internet at a Starbucks not far from where we planned to meet at 10:20. At this point, I see she sent me two messages: one at 10:02 and another at 10:08. The first one says she’s there and is asking where I am. The second says she’ll wait for 10 more minutes then she will leave. I guess I missed out on that window. I get so frustrated that I keep looking for her for another 30 minutes, but to no luck. I end up going home. On the way home though I do make one approach. The woman is 28 (I thought she was younger) and married. But she went to the same high school as me. We have a great conversation – we vibed well – and I start feeling a lot better. I honestly felt a lot better just approaching.
Here’s what I learned from tonight:
- If you are in an area where you do not have 4G and rely on internet, meet at a place that has internet so you don’t have to leave it to message the other person.
- Do not meet in less specific and crowded places because it will be hard to find the other person.
- Approaching heals rejection pain. It shows your brain that there are other great people out there so you do not get hung up on one person.